Chapter Summary: Buffy has awakened, and she had no problems taking care of her rapist and murderer much to Spike's surprise. Buffy hadn't even hinted at staking Spike for her conversion. She seemed like Buffy, only very determined to see revenge on those who harmed her. Valerie stopped by to see how things were going at the house, and she had some cell phones for everyone to keep in contact more quickly. Buffy and Spike came downstairs to see Tara and Valerie in the living room. With the faint scent of Spike in the air, near Valerie, Buffy went on the jealous streak of indirectly declaring Spike as hers. Let's see what Val has to say about that. Who really is this woman named Valerie?

Author's Note (From Tasha): The title comes from a Ghost of the Robot song called Valerie. When I first read Athenewolfe's chapter 2 with Valerie's introduction I was actually listening to the Ghost of the Robot's "Mad Brilliant" CD. The song started playing in the background when I started reading about Valerie. I found that amusing. James Marsters was the lead singer of GoTR, and now he has a solo musical career. Just thought I'd share the tidbit as to why I chose this particular title for the chapter.

Valerie met Buffy's challenging stare with a calm look. She dealt with demons day in and day out for the last five years of her life. Although the blonde in front of her practically radiated jealousy, vengeful fury and power, Valerie was confident that she could calm Buffy down.

Valerie took in the woman/demon before her. She was stunned by Buffy's beauty even in her vampiric guise. She never met a vampire with such a mixture of light and dark radiating from them. Usually nothing surprised her anymore. After all, Valerie knew demons. Buffy was different than any she'd met so far.

While working for Wolfram and Hart may not have been her first choice as a professional career, it had provided her with a vast amount of resources, which she studied throughout the years. After she mentally assessed a few scenarios, Valerie chose the one she felt would work the best. Slowly she tilted her neck into a submissive gesture to the demon within Buffy Summers. "May I approach, please?"

Buffy looked stunned. The strange woman in front of her showed not a trace of fear, and her actions appeared to be soothing the demon inside of her. She could feel her jealous rage subside, and her female curiosity was piqued. The minutes ticked by as Buffy stared at Valerie in an assessment of her own. She finally nodded for Valerie to move forward.

Spike stood still, nervous at the interaction. He was confident that Valerie could handle herself, but Buffy was newly turned. He wasn't sure how long it normally took for the soul to master the demon.

Normally a fledgling would be completely overcome with their bloodlust by now. The fledge would have killed any living thing in sight to get the blood it needed. Although Buffy was cruel to her tormentor, Spike never sensed Buffy edging towards Tara or Valerie to eat them. Buffy was acting protective and possessive of a Mate. She wasn't trying to feed.

Spike tensed, ready to rush in if it was needed. He would hate to begin his new relationship with Buffy by having to use a Sire command. Plus, the silly bint was strong enough that she might stake him for it after his hold wore off. He still couldn't reconcile himself with the fact that Buffy hadn't wanted to stake him as soon as she rose.

Valerie approached slowly. Her steps indicated that she was still being submissive to the demon. She only moved forward a little bit at a time. She kept her eyes lowered to the floor and her head tilted.

Valerie finally made it all the way to Buffy. She stayed to the side furthest from Spike. She knew that if she got too close to the woman's Sire, that Buffy's demon would probably take over, and she might attack.

While Valerie wasn't particularly worried about dying, her contract provided extra magical protection against demons; she could experience a great deal of pain. Her research indicated that not all vampire bites were painful. She doubted that Buffy's bite, in this instance, would be gentle if she spooked or provoked the demon into action.

Valerie bent down close to Buffy's ear. She quietly whispered something to Buffy that only they could hear. She hoped Buffy would understand what she was trying to say.

Both Spike and Tara strained to hear what Valerie said, but it was no use. Valerie's protection against demons had kicked in with her proximity to Buffy, and she practically crackled with a magical barrier around her. Unfortunately, it also muted all aspects of her whispered words. Seconds later, Buffy started to laugh so hard she fell down.

Valerie's words satisfied both the soul and the demon. They were both pleased to have this girl around for them. Buffy had a feeling that they would become closer friends over time. Valerie seemed to understand what was needed without being judgmental or fearful. Buffy promised herself to ask Spike more about Valerie later.

Spike moved to help Buffy up off the floor as Valerie slowly moved back to her former position next to Tara. Tara looked at Valerie and whispered, "What did you say to her?"

Valerie looked at Tara with a twinkle in her eyes and smiled, "Someday, I'll tell you."

Suddenly Buffy stopped laughing, sniffed and cocked her head as if she was listening to an internal voice. She looked at Valerie, Tara and the new house that was scented with a multitude of personal scents. The longer she was "awake" the more her senses kicked in. She felt the magical barriers crackling in energy around them, unseen. Something else lingered in the air. Processing this information Buffy turned to her sire, "What the hell happened here, and where is Willow?"

Buffy sat at the kitchen table with Spike, her hands wrapped around a cup of hot chocolate. She looked more sorrowful than angry at the moment, and Spike desperately wished he knew what she was thinking about. The multitude of unsettled emotions was easy for Spike to pick up on. Until other claims were finished or initiated, his senses were on the outskirts of the true depths of Buffy's thoughts.

Lost in her thoughts, Buffy didn't notice Spike's discomfort. She was still trying to absorb all the information that had been given to her. The euphoria of being turned, and the adrenaline from her first kill, was starting to wear off. Now too many thoughts crept into her mind. She remembered everything: the rape, the feeling of helplessness, the desire to live, and the need to repair her relationships with friends and family.

The rage of the demon was overwhelming, but Buffy felt her soul in there too. It worked to calm her demon, and it wept at the treachery done to her body. She tried to push her thoughts away from the rape. She thought instead about the actions of one of her oldest friends.

Focusing on Willow's magical attack and memory violations of Tara was a way for Buffy to avoid thinking about other factors. If she held on to her anger at Warren, Willow, or fate in general, then she didn't have to focus on her feelings about the rape, or her surprising joy at being turned.

Finally Spike's voice broke Buffy's concentration, "So luv, what did lawyer girl have to say to you?" Sitting in silence wasn't going to help either of them adjust to their new lives. He wasn't going to push too much too fast, but he wasn't going to allow Buffy to retreat into a shell either. She tried to do that after returning from Heaven. He wouldn't let it happen again.

A laughing smile broke across Buffy's face. What was said really wasn't extremely funny, but compared to everything else going on it was hilarious. "Something about guys in dusters being so two years ago, and she much preferred blondes in skirts." Her eyes twinkled in mirth. "It was a lot funnier the way she said it. Do you think Tara knows that Valerie wants in her skirt?"

Spike laughed at Buffy's question, "I doubt she meant it quite that way, pet. She probably phrased it that way to get the point across to your demon that she wasn't encroaching on your "territory"." He tilted his head to the side in contemplation. "Of course, it is interesting to think about those two together."

Buffy playfully swatted Spike in the shoulder. "Watch it, Mister. No mind wandering to those two and skirt upping."

Spike laughed. He hugged Buffy tenderly. "No one will ever compare to you, Buffy. You are the only one I love like that." He moved slowly out of the embrace. He hoped he hadn't made Buffy uncomfortable. He knew he only acted naturally to how he felt about her.

Buffy felt bereft after Spike let go. In that brief moment that he held her, Buffy knew safety and peace. Her demon quelled into contentment during the brief touch. It allowed her soul to rest from all the work it was doing to keep Buffy sane. "I hope so, Spike."

A troubled look crossed Buffy's face, and her eyes started to flicker with silver. "How could Willow do that to Tara? Controlling someone and taking away their choices are wrong." Her anger at finding out her friend abused her magic again infuriated her. "Doesn't she realize that she violated Tara as surely as that man did to me in the crypt. I think what Willow did was worse.

"Worse?" Spike was confused about why Buffy felt Tara's violation was worse than Buffy's. Both of the violations were equally as wrong in his book.

"Willow manipulated Tara's mind. Now Tara will always wonder what else Willow might have made her "forget" or made her "want to do" like Willow tried the other night." Buffy went on for a few minutes ranting on how wrong it was to violate a person like that.

Buffy rattled on about how wrong it was for others to make decisions like that for people, even if they love them, and take away their free will. She never forgave Angel for leaving her "for her own good". He made that decision for both of them without even asking her what she thought. "Willow can't keep using the excuse that she is hurt or she loves the other person so much that she had to do the magic. It's wrong for her to think that she has the right to make those choices for us."

Spike sat back and let Buffy rant. He occasionally refilled her cocoa mug. He added enough marshmallows to cover the top of the cup when he refilled it. His head snapped up. "Luv, are you really all right with me turning you?" He worried that Buffy was upset with him as well. "I know I gave you the choice, but you were dying. Your survival instinct probably just kicked in ..."

Buffy stopped ranting and looked at the face of the man who loved her, her Sire. "Spike, I didn't choose to come back from heaven, and I didn't choose to get raped and killed."

Spike lowered his head in shame. Buffy might not be staking him, but she might as well stake him if she regretted being connected to him as her Sire.

Buffy lifted Spike's chin with the tips of her fingers. "I chose to talk to you over everyone else when they brought me back." She smiled. "I could have gone to Angel to tell him about Heaven. Heck I could have had Willow erase all my memories of Heaven, but I didn't."

Spike thought about that for a little bit. He was the only one who knew about her being ripped out of Heaven instead of Hell. Did that show that she trusted him as a friend before? Right before the tower, Buffy showed that she looked at him as more than just a demon, but when she returned from Heaven she held so much animosity within her that their confrontations had been strained.

"I chose to take your blood, willingly. You did not take away my free will." Buffy cupped Spike's cheek. "You expected me to stake you when I woke up. If you wanted to control me, you would have secured me in such a way that I couldn't harm you."

Spike relaxed his shoulders in relief. Buffy continually amazed him with her clarity of thought. 'She must have had a hell of a set of dreams to be so accepting of this.' She was handling everything a lot better than he expected her to.

"I'm not going anywhere, Spike." Buffy rubbed her finger in a caress against his cheek. "I chose to be here with you, in this strange family you seem to be making. I didn't want to go back to Heaven."

"You'll go back one day, luv." Spike turned his face into the touch. He kissed the palm of Buffy's hand. "Your soul is still there. I'm sure you'll go back."

"That's fine, but not right now. It might take a while for me to get used to being a vampire," Buffy sighed, "and the other things that happened. I swear that I'll work hard to make life better." She chuckled at the term "life" being used in reference to a vampire. "I'm glad Tara is here. Heck I'm even glad Valerie is here, and I'm glad she is taking care of Dawnie. I wish I could do that."

"You will soon, pet. She knows about you, and she still loves you without question." Spike opened his arms for Buffy to slip into. "We have to be sure that you can control yourself around all the heartbeats. I won't let you hurt anyone you care about. I know you'd regret it later." He chuckled. "I won't even let you kill Red, even though I'd like to throttle her myself right now."

"Thank you, Spike." Buffy rested her head against Spike's chest. She closed her eyes and relaxed into his embrace.

Valerie checked on Dawn. She hated to wake her up this late at night, but she promised to tell Dawn about Buffy. Dawn wanted to know about any changes in Buffy's status. Walking softly across the room, she sat on the edge of the bed and reached over to gently shake Dawn. "Dawn? Dawn wake up. I have news."

Dawn bolted up. She almost fell off the bed in her haste to move. "She's awake? Did she ask about me? Did she stake Spike? Is she all right? What happened? Can I see her?" She fired off each question in rapid succession without giving Valerie a chance to answer in-between each new question.

Valerie laughed softly. "Yes Dawn. She is awake, and she asked about you." Valerie tried to answer each question in the order Dawn asked them. "No, she didn't stake Spike. In fact she was quite possessive about him. She seemed to be all right."

Dawn visibly relaxed. She loved Spike almost as much, if not as much, as Buffy. He protected her all summer, and he was her best friend. Spike never treated her just like a kid or a "key". He was always the same to her, and he treated her well.

"I need to make some arrangements at work tomorrow, but we think the mages can make a temporary protection spell for you to be able to see Buffy." The bright smile on Dawn's face was enough reward for Valerie to contact the mages first thing in the morning. "It would be kind of like the one I have. You won't be able to live at your new house yet, because the demon will still be too strong, but you should be able to visit for short amounts of time."

Dawn brightened up at the prospect of seeing her sister. "Can I visit tomorrow?"

"I'll pick you up from school and bring you to the office." Valerie mentally worked through the day's agenda of meetings. She rearranged things in such a way to make it all work out. "Hopefully the mages can work their mojo along with strengthening the protection spells against you. Now, you need to get back to sleep."

Dawn smiled and snuggled back down into her blankets. "Thank you, Valerie." She couldn't wait until tomorrow and the possible chance of seeing her sister again.

Tara sat on the porch swing. She enjoyed the sensation of being rocked back and forth. The swing was quickly becoming her favorite place to think and reflect. She had a pleasant conversation with Valerie earlier. They traded Sunnydale stories, and Tara hadn't been able to stop herself from asking a truly clich� question. "What's a nice girl like you doing working for an evil law firm like that?"

Valerie's answer, like so many things lately, made Tara deeply reflect on what she believed about the world around her. She learned about Valerie's family, why Valerie started working for Wolfram and Hart, and why she pretty much hated what the Council stood for.

Valerie's parents had been part of an "underground railroad" that helped peaceful or reformed demons relocate and start productive new lives. There were many demons that had no desire to kill, maim, or even hurt humankind. Some came from alternate dimensions to escape war and others were fleeing from organizations such as the Initiative or the Council.

Val worked with her parents on the railroad her entire life. She was as comfortable around demons as she was a human. Over the years, she heard many horror stories of demons that wanted nothing more than to live peacefully and raise their children. Instead, they had their family members killed, chipped or dismembered by some happy-go-lucky agency who didn't care that they had no interest in malevolence. No one stopped to find out if the demon they were hunting, testing or slaughtering was really a threat to anyone.

The year Valerie left for college the Council found out her parents were part of the railroad after a particularly nasty relocation. They succeeded in rescuing 20 Baccharan from a Council "demon-hunt", and her parents helped them move to upstate New York where they would blend in better. The Baccharan in question had all converted to Quakerism about twenty years prior. Now they were pacifists by virtue of their faith. The Council, however, hadn't cared about their conversion, and they sent a special operations team to "take care" of the demons.

Valerie's parents found out about the planned raid before it happened. Since they worked with the demon community in a positive way, word reached them of what was going down. Thankfully Valerie's parents were able to save all of the demons from being killed. Unfortunately something was left behind that led the Council to her parent's doorstep.

Two weeks after the rescue, the Council managed to track down the identity of those responsible for the rescue. They surrounded the home to make sure no one was able to leave. Then they blew the house up with everyone inside. Valerie's parents, and six innocent demons who were visiting from out of town, lost their lives.

Valerie admitted to Tara that she was very angry and bitter during those first days, weeks and months after her parent's death. She wanted revenge in the worst way, but she found it was quite impossible to take on an organization as big as the Council and win. She decided it was best to carry on the work her parent's started.

It was during that time that Wolfram and Hart approached her. They seemed sympathetic enough, but Valerie wasn't fooled. She'd heard about the law firm through the various demons they assisted. The member who spoke to her was very nice though. Wolfram and Hart offered to pay for all funeral expenses, give her a full scholarship to USC Law School, give her a lucrative contract, and take care of her personal expenses during college in exchange for 5 years of service in one of their offices.

That was 5 years and a few months ago. Valerie explained that although she was approached to be "promoted" to the L.A. offices many times, she never took the opportunity. The Sunnydale branch was much more sedate than other branches. Most of their transactions with demons were as normal as any human law firm, real estate agent, or bank. She told Tara how happy she was with her job, and how she felt that she was helping the right kinds of demons.

Valerie renewed her contract last month, and she still sent support checks out to other houses in the underground network. She kept enough to take care of her own needs and bills, but the majority of her salary was sent to various causes to help out the types of demons her family protected for all of her life.

Valerie learned everything about demons, both good and bad. She never went into any decision uneducated or unsure of just who she was dealing with. Although Spike wasn't the kind of client she originally wanted, he never asked her to do anything for him that went against her personal code of ethics. Now, she was glad that she'd kept him as her client instead of passing him off to someone else.

There was no doubt in Tara's mind that Valerie hated the Council with a passion. Valerie's lips pursed and her eyes turned fiery when she said the name of the group.

The concept of the "underground railroad" for peaceful demons piqued Tara's interest. She wondered if there was a way she could help out, or at least a fund she could contribute to. She needed to do more research to validate Valerie's claims.

Her own family, who lied to her for years, persecuted Tara. She was told that she was a demon, and her family treated her as one. They wanted her as their "slave" after her mother died. She was glad the Scoobies stood up for her then. If they hadn't, who knew where she'd be now. She understood the feeling of being misunderstood or scared that your identity would be found out and held against you. Tara sighed, slipped off the swing, and walked back inside. She made sure all of the lights were off downstairs before she headed up to bed.

Tara locked her bedroom door, as Spike suggested. She laid down and stared at the ceiling. Tomorrow was another day, and she needed the sleep to face it. She hoped she would be able to rest.

Spike looked around his clean room. Adam's body no longer hung limp from the wall of his bedroom. A clean up crew came in and quickly took care of the mess. If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he never would have known a man had been tortured there.

Spike listened to the sounds of the house. Even though it was only 3 am, Buffy was already back in her own bed sleeping. She expended a lot of energy between her emotional and mental states. She needed the rest. After listening for a couple hours longer, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep. He'd hear Buffy if she needed anything.

Buffy's eyes twitched in her sleep. She was lost in her dreams shortly after she fell asleep.

Buffy looked around the strange looking room. It seemed like it could be a law office, if the paintings and knick-knacks were any indication. Female screams penetrated the door. She ran out of the office in a hurry to find the source. She thought one voice sounded like Dawn.

"Get away from the lawyer, Dawn." A furious Angel growled at Dawn in the open area of the new room. "She's evil. I'm here to protect you from her."

"I don't need protection from her. Valerie saved me from the only person I needed protection from, Willow." Dawn firmly stood her ground in front of the bleeding woman. Angel would have to go through her to get to Valerie.

Buffy vamped and growled threateningly at the danger to her family and friends. She launched herself at Angel's back, kicking him to the floor with a blow to the middle of his back. She flipped Angel over while she punched and beat on him.

All at once the vampire surged off the floor. He bound Buffy's wrists in his hand. He growled dominantly, demanding her to submit.

Buffy snorted at the command. There was only one person she gave that control to, and that vampire was blonde, sexy, and her Sire. She counter-growled in refusal.

The dark haired vampire let go of one of Buffy's wrists long enough to open-handed slap Buffy across the face. The ring he wore on his hand cut into her cheek.

Pain radiated from the blow. She blinked at the stars swimming around her vision. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw Dawn sneak Valerie down a hallway to another room. Happy that her sister was safe for the moment, she fought back again. Her boot connected with the vampire's groin, and he dropped her.

"Now Buff. Was that a nice thing to do?" Angelus cupped his aching family jewels. Seeing Buffy as a vampire called out to his demon. She was magnificent to behold. His demon forced its way to the surface in a lunge of desire, dominance, and a need to posses the woman, shoving the soul back into the background.

"Oh aren't we a smart little fledge." Angelus sneered. He straightened his back and walked closer to Buffy. He leaned down and sniffed at her neck. She felt like family, but how was that possible. "SPIKE!!" He snarled in disgust and anger. He recognized his Childe's mark on Buffy's neck. Spike's scent was all around the woman.

Buffy couldn't help the step back she took away from Angelus' rage. She doubted that she'd seen him this mad the last time he was free.

"How dare he?" Angelus grabbed Buffy's arms. He pushed her up against a wall. "You were mine."

Now Buffy was peeved. There was no way she'd let Angelus get away with a remark like that. "I was never yours, Angelus." Her eyes narrowed on the dark side of her first love. "And I never will be. I belong to Spike."

Angelus dropped Buffy to the floor, and he laughed. He laughed so hard that Buffy thought he was going insane. When Angelus stared at Buffy's eyes again, he glared at her in hatred. "If he touches you again, I will dust him. I brought him into this world, and I will take him from it."

Buffy twisted in the sheets on her bed. Her head tossed wildly back and forth. "No ... NO!" She yelled loud enough that Spike heard her even without his vampiric senses.

Spike rushed into the bedroom. He slept naked, and he hadn't stopped to pick up any clothes. All he cared about was getting to his Childe as soon as possible. He smelled the fear in the air from Buffy.

Buffy continued to growl, in full demon face, at whatever was causing her grief in her dreams. She scratched and kicked at Spike who tried to subdue her.

Spike shook Buffy's shoulders. "Buffy!" The scent of his blood and hers permeated the air. "Wake up, luv!" He was unable to stop Buffy from hurting him, and he had to dig his fingers down hard enough into Buffy's arms that his nails made her bleed to keep her flailing to a minimum.

Buffy heard a voice in the distance. It wasn't the voice of the vampire before her now. She turned her head to look back over her shoulder in her dream.

Angelus grinned at Buffy. "He can't save you. I will execute my rights, and you will be mine." His grin turned into a sneer. "If that doesn't work, I can dust him, and I still get what I want."

Spike sighed in resignation. He had no other choice but to use a Sire's voice to break Buffy from whatever was tormenting her. He slapped Buffy across the cheek and growled. "Wake up now, Childe! Return to me!"

Buffy screamed because in her dream Angelus bit her neck and started to pull the blood he needed to complete his claim. She was ripped from Angelus' arms at the sound of Sire's voice. It broke through the fog and horror that she was living in her dreams. She opened her eyes to stare into the troubled amber eyes of her Sire.

Spike heaved a breath of relief when Buffy finally opened her eyes. In the next moment his arms were full of a weeping Childe. He rocked her back and forth and rubbed his hand up and down her back to soothe her.

Tara opened the door to Buffy's room slowly. "Spike?" Her timid voice questioned. She wasn't asleep long before Buffy's screams woke her up. She knew Spike would take care of Buffy, but she was concerned. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nightmare," Spike told Tara in explanation. "We should be okay. I'll stay with her a bit until she gets back to sleep."

Tara nodded and closed the door. Spike looked back down at Buffy, only to find himself staring into blood-tear stained eyes.

Buffy clutched Spike like a life preserver from a sinking ship. "Please don't leave me, Sire." She pleaded with Spike. "Please be with me tonight."

Spike noticed his nakedness for the first time since he bolted from his room. "I don't know if that would be a good idea, pet. I don't think you're ready for that."

Buffy would have blushed if she could have managed it as a vampire. She buried her face in Spike's chest for a few moments to collect her wits together again. She looked back up at Spike. "Just hold me, please?"

Spike understood the loneliness that came from many sleepless nights alone in his bed. He nodded slowly. "Let me go get some pants first, kay?"

Buffy shook her head back and forth. "I trust you to behave. I'm not taking a chance on something happening if you leave me."

Hearing Buffy say that she trusted him meant a great deal to him. "Okay." He pulled back the blankets next to Buffy. He straightened the mess of sheets that suffered from Buffy's nightmarish ordeal. "Will you tell me about your nightmare, luv?" He slipped in next to Buffy. He waited for Buffy to decide what position she wanted to be in.

Buffy snuggled up to Spike, burying her face in his chest. She wrapped one arm over his waist, and the other was tucked up underneath the pillows at the head of the bed. She slipped one of her legs in-between Spike's to allow her to get closer to him. What should she tell him? Angel was a sore point with Spike. What would he say about her dreaming of his Sire, especially Angelus' claims that he would take Buffy away from Spike? "It wasn't just a nightmare, Spike. It felt like a Slayer dream."

"Are you sure?" Spike questioned. Her heard about Slayer's having prophetic dreams, but he wasn't sure which part of the Slayer was responsible for them. Finding out what Buffy could still do or not do would be interesting. She was more than a normal vampire, definitely a lot more than the average fledgling.

Buffy nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. I've had them before." She frowned. Tears threatened to fall again. "They aren't one hundred percent accurate, a bit cryptic usually, and sometimes only little bits of the dreams are real. I'm sure that it was a Slayer dream though. I don't want any of it to be true, but I have a feeling that at least one part of it is right on the money."

"Which part, Childe?" Spike spoke lovingly and softly. He called her Childe in a caring respect to reinforce their connection, not as a reminder of his position over her.

"Angel," Buffy cringed when Spike's body tightened next to her. "He's coming soon." She tried to reassure Spike of his position in her life. "I don't want him here, Sire. I chose you, not him."

Spike held Buffy tighter to him. He had no desire to see his nancy boy Sire right now. Heck, he didn't want to ever see him, but right now he wasn't sure if he could handle the problem. He needed to focus on Buffy and her training. Angel would only muck up the progress that Spike made in his relationship with Buffy.

"He can challenge your rights as my Sire, can't he?" Buffy meekly asked the question on her mind.

"There are ways, yes." Spike frowned. "It was one reason I made sure to have some heavy magic around us." His demonic face melted away to the saddened and insecure face of the human he used to be. Angel had a way of making him feel like the weakling he used to be in his human days. "I wanted to keep your turning from Peaches."

Buffy raised her head to lock her gaze with Spike's. "I don't want him to challenge it, Spike." She caressed her fingers down his cheek. She traced the line of his jaw to his lips. "Don't let him take me away from you."

"Bloody hell," Spike muttered. "I'd have to be dust before I'd let you go. You are mine: my Slayer, my Childe, my Buffy, my love, and so much more. You're the one Buffy, from now until eternity."

Buffy sighed contentedly back into Spike's arms. She rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Eternity with you sounds pretty good, Sire. I don't know if I will be able to say the words I know you want to hear Spike, but I promise that I won't hide them from you if or when I feel them. I need a little time to work through all of my issues."

Spike nodded in understanding against the top of Buffy's head. "Take as long as you need. Just being close to you is enough to bring me joy." He hugged her tightly. "All I ask is that you don't shut me out. Even if I don't like what you have to say, I will not turn away from you. Trust me to be there for you. I won't leave you."

"I'll try, Spike." Buffy closed her eyes. Somehow she knew the dreams wouldn't return when Spike held her. She would deal with Angel or Angelus whenever she had to. She wanted to forget about him until then.

Willow woke up slowly to the sunshine streaming through the window. Her mind was fuzzy, and she tried to recall last night. Rolling over she snuggled up to the leggy woman in her bed. 'What the...?' Memories started to flood her mind.

Yesterday she woke up to an empty house again. Buffy took off for parts unknown, Dawn was taken by social services, and Tara disappeared into thin air despite Willow's best attempts to track her down and bring her back home. Everyone close to her left her in some way all at once. She couldn't even count on Xander due to Anya's wedding obsession. Giles spent the last few days in a drunken stupor, muttering something about run-away slayers and mystical keys yelling at him.

No one bothered to check on her needs. No one cared to see how SHE was doing after Tara abandoned her. No, they were all going on with their own precious lives. Didn't they realize she was hurting? Willow spared no thoughts for how Buffy was doing or how Dawn was adjusting.

Willow even thought about hiring a detective agency. Perhaps Angel would be willing to locate Tara for her. She was frustrated with her own private search. All of her spells indicated that Tara was not in Sunnydale. She really wanted to know what kept making people leave her. She wouldn't go through the loneliness again. She would find Tara, and Tara would be coming home with her.

Lonely for company, and not wanting to deal with fools or drunkards, Willow finally thought about a spell to de-rat Amy. She was pleased when her casting resulted in the reappearance of another witch in her life, hopefully one that would understand her better.

The girls talked about all the changes that occurred on the Hellmouth during the last few years. Later that night, when no one had bothered to come home again, Willow decided to go out and have a bit of fun. 'Would it have hurt them to call and see how I was doing?'

The girls went to the Bronze and had a magical blast rearranging reality on the poor unsuspecting crowd. It was the most fun that Willow had in ages, and she found herself wishing that Tara was more accepting like Amy. 'I wonder if there is a spell to make one enjoy using magic more?'

Silently Willow contemplated whether it would be possible to magically enforce a desire to do magic onto Tara. Her thoughts drifted to other possible uses of the magic on the Hellmouth. She would have to keep quiet about it though. Her experiences had shown her that people like Giles and Tara wouldn't appreciate her efforts to manipulate her surroundings, even if it was for their own good.

Finally, physically and magically drained, the girls had collapsed in Willow's room. They fell asleep before they could even get undressed. If no one bothered to return home, perhaps Amy would like to move in with her. It would be nice to have another magically inclined friend around. She figured that it was her home too, and she should have a say in the living arrangements. She thought she could do what she wanted to with the house. Besides, Dawn's room would be available now.

Willow felt a twinge of guilt at giving away Dawn's room without at least checking to see if the girl was all right in her new life. 'She's probably happier there anyways. Now I don't have to worry about her getting in my way and messing up my spells.'

Willow cringed at the thought. She liked Dawn. Why would she think of her in that way? She made a decision to stop by Dawn's school in the afternoon about the time school let out. The only information she got out of Giles was that Dawn knew where Buffy was. Perhaps she could convince the girl to tell her where Buffy was and find out if she'd seen or heard from Tara.

Buffy curled up on the couch reading one of the many books Tara purchased for her. She resisted staying home alone at first. She wanted to go hunt down Warren, or have a "talk" with Willow about what she'd done to Tara. Spike took the time to calm her down, before he took the sun-proofed car to go check on Dawn. He kissed her softly on the lips before he left. She found the endearment so touching.

Logically, Buffy knew she wasn't ready to face humans yet, but that didn't make it any easier for her to accept. She would rather be out patrolling or hunting for human or demon scum than sit here and read these books. She laughed softly at the irony of her thoughts. At least the book was right about one fact. She was trying to focus on everything else rather then deal with her own feelings. She wished the realization made it easier to deal with her feelings, but it didn't.

Twirling her new Willow-detector bracelet, Buffy let her thoughts wander far from the books in front of her again. She wondered if Spike would let her buy a new computer for the office. She could go back to school and take night courses or even online courses if she had a computer. She wanted to feel active in life again. She'd shut so much out since her return from Heaven.

Besides, Tara would be able to use it too. Pushing the books aside, Buffy began to wander around the house making a shopping list of everything she wanted to buy. This would take some time, and it gave her some time away from the tumultuous emotions going through her head.

Dawn squirmed in her seat. It would only be a few more minutes until the final bell rang, and it would be time for her to be on her way to Wolfram and Hart. She was a bit nervous because apparently it was an evil law firm. 'A demon law firm, not an evil one.' She reminded herself.

Dawn shook her head while she tried to reconcile the thought of Valerie, who was quickly becoming her friend and a mentor, with her conception of an evil lawyer. The ideas just didn't seem to go together. 'I wonder if I pulled my grades up, if I could go to law school too. Valerie seems so cool, plus a ton of money for arguing all day. I could so do that!'

Finally the bell rang and Dawn sprung from her seat. She grabbed her books, and she made a beeline for the door. As soon as she stepped into the warm sunshine she began to look around for Valerie's dark blue Mercedes. Spotting her, she sprinted to the car. She never noticed that her charmed bracelet was glowing, indicating that Willow was near. It was tucked under the long sleeves of the peasant blouse she picked out to wear to school.

Willow watched Dawn sprinting to the dark blue Mercedes. 'Her foster parents must have a lot of money.' She was surprised to see only a strangely professional looking blonde in the car. 'I wonder if that's her foster mom.'

Willow thought it would be best to follow the Mercedes. Something seemed a bit wrong with Dawn being so excited to go with her foster parents. She knew how much Dawn loved Buffy, and this didn't seem right. She spotted an unused vehicle in the parking lot. She quickly used a bit of magic to unlock the car and began to trail the Mercedes.

After about ten minutes the car pulled into the Sunnydale branch of Wolfram and Hart. Dawn got out of the car. She practically ran to the front doors. "Wolfram and Hart? That's the evil law firm that tried to kill Cordy. They have Dawn."

Willow feared that the law firm, as a means of reaching Buffy, kidnapped Dawn. "I just resurrected her. No one is going to kill her again." Quickly she pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the Magic Box. She ran in, grabbed the phone and started to dial.

"It's an emergency." Willow waited for someone on the other end to pick up the phone. She was glad to hear the male voice on the other end. "Angel? This is Willow. We have to talk."

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