Revenge For Love - (7) Letting Go


Chapter Summary: Angelus almost caught Buffy, Giles and Spike meeting. Thankfully Spike found a cloaking spell that would cover their essences as well as their bodies and scent. Spike has revealed to Giles a good portion of his past in an attempt to sway him to the cause. Now they must set things in motion with the rest of the Scoobies and Joyce.

Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.

'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.

"That was way too close for comfort." Spike sat down on the back of the couch. His mind raced over various scenarios. "I need to know for sure if we have your support, Watcher. Are you in or out?" He hoped the revealing of his proverbial soul, and the cloaking spell trick, was enough to gain Giles' interest.

"I'll have to verify some of the historical facts of your background." Giles began. "But I suppose if you wanted me dead you would have given me over to Angelus just now."

Buffy laid her head on Spike's shoulder. She curled her arm around his. "What do we do next?"

"I am going back to the mansion." Spike sighed sadly. He wanted to keep Buffy with him, but the further she was from Angelus and Dru, the better chance they had to keep her "life" a secret. "You are going with your Watcher." He stared directly at Giles. The seriousness of the task, and the protectiveness Spike had for Buffy, was echoed through his gaze and impressed upon Giles.

"No!" Buffy sat up abruptly. "I'm not leaving you." She stood in front of Spike. Her voice was frantic. The desperation was spoken partially by a new fledgling not wanting to be apart from her Sire, but it also came from her desire to remain with the man she had chosen as her Mate. She didn't want to leave his side in case something happened. "Please don't make me leave you, Sire."

"Buffy, I know Willow and Xander are anxious to see you. They are waiting at my house in case you were able to visit after our meeting." Giles thought up several reasons for Buffy to return with him. "There's also your mother to think about." He wasn't trying to be cruel. If Spike wanted Buffy to go with him to his house, there must be a reason for it. He read during his training about the bonds between Sires and their Childer. He knew the separation would be difficult on both of them even if there weren't any other factors to consider.

"Mommy." Buffy responded meekly. "Is she all right?" She looked over at Giles with concern.

"She doesn't know anything yet, Buffy." Giles frowned. "She thinks you are staying at Willow's house, but that will only hold out for so long."

Buffy nodded. "We need to tell her everything, Giles especially now."

"Surely you don't want to put her in that kind of danger?" Giles retorted.

"She's already in danger." Buffy argued. "Do you think Angelus is just going to leave her alone now that he thinks I'm dead?" There was no way she was keeping her mother out of the loop any longer. It was important to Buffy that Joyce was told what was going on and how to defend herself. "He's going to go after everything and everyone. There's nothing to stop him."

"Pet, you have to be very careful about who knows what." Spike held up a hand to stall Buffy from interrupting him. "I know you need to see her, but Angelus must continue to believe you are dead. She wouldn't be too convincing as a grieving mother if she's all happy you are alive."

Buffy nodded in understanding. "I'm sure she'll be upset by it all. I've never told her about my calling. She won't have to act there." She imagined the tears and probably anger she would face from her mom. "Maybe if we make sure she is working on funeral arrangements it will keep Angelus out of the loop?"

"We could even set it up as a sunset graveside service." Giles added. An idea started to brew in his head.

"That's bloody brilliant, Watcher." Spike quipped in delight. "Tall, dark and forehead wouldn't be able to resist a chance of wiping out all of the Slayer's friends and family at once." He nodded more emphatically the longer he thought about it. "It might cause him to delay any current plans he has for your family and friends if he feels he can take care of everyone in one fell swoop."

"Spike, if we can disguise our presence like we did tonight, you and I could be waiting in hiding in a nearby crypt." Buffy was all for planning Angelus' dusty demise. "Better yet have an open casket, and I'll wait for him there. With my new state concealed, he'd never know I was a vampire until I came out of the casket to get him."

"I like the way you think, luv." Spike delighted in the complete lack of hesitation on Buffy's part to exterminate the former love of her life. It boosted his confidence to a different level of security. "He'll think he's picking the perfect ambush when it will end up being the perfect trap instead."

"We could tape stakes to the undersides of the chairs and in the coffin as well for everyone to use." Buffy thought further on ways to conceal weapons and secure her mother's safety. "How long do you think we need to get everything together, Giles?" She asked.

"I will probably take at least a day to speak with your mother." Giles mentally calculated any necessary arrangements. "Probably another two days for preparation and to make sure Angelus knows about the funeral."

"Sounds about right." Spike nodded. "I have some things at the mansion to finish, and then I'll be able to join you." He looked over at Giles. "If I am welcome."

"I'm sure we can arrange something." Giles responded flatly. He didn't relish the idea of allowing another vampire into his home after the disaster of the last time, but the look on his ward's face told him what she wanted. "We have to find a safe place for both of you that will keep you hidden until the time is right."

"I'm sure you'll find the perfect arrangement." Spike rolled his eyes, not hiding the sarcasm in his voice. He had no doubts about where exactly Giles would like to put him. 'In front of the largest window on the East side of the house.'

'Sire, please.' Buffy called Spike by his title in the hopes of appeasing his demon as well as showing her respect. 'I trust, Giles.'

'I'm 95 percent sure I can trust him to care for you, Childe.' Spike continued their conversation mentally. 'But he would sooner stake me than trust me.'

'I'll do what I can to sway him, beloved. He won't hurt me, and if hurting you hurts me ... which it does ... he won't hurt you.' Buffy caressed Spike's cheek with her thumb while she cupped the majority of it with her hand. 'Are you sure that I can't stay with you?'

"Yes, I'm positive." Spike brought the conversation back to the verbal realm. "If Louis is correct, you were actually turned with the vampiric like traits of your Slayer demon as it accepted my blood to bring it forth." He pressed his forehead against Buffy's. "Your link to the Aurelius line is weaker because of it. I feel you as your Sire, but I feel you more as my mate. Once we claimed each other, I felt you strongly on a much different level."

Giles, who had been watching the two supernatural beings converse without speaking, was glad to hear the conversation again. He wondered what he missed during their shared verbal silence. Somehow he thought they were talking about him. Did it show a certain form of restraint that Spike and/or Buffy hadn't insulted him out loud? Or were they simply plotting? All of this confusion was giving him a huge headache. Nothing was ever as simple as it used to be, and things were complex enough before this.

"I believe that is the main reason you weren't sensed while we were at the mansion. I covered your scent with the incense, but that would not cover your essence." Spike pulled a small leather bound notepad from his duster pocket. "Here are some additional notes, observations and thoughts from the last several decades that I've made or found out about from others.

Giles accepted the notepad being handed to him. His inquisitive mind wanted to tear into the contents right away. His headache was forgotten with the draw of new research.

"You are already a powerful vampire, Childe. That is not something normal that happens to a fledgling. You have a control over your own demon and bloodlust that a lot of vampires never achieve. Angelus and Dru should have felt you at the mansion." Spike explained. "I don't want to take any chances with your life if I'm wrong about your demon."

"I'm afraid, Spike." Buffy nestled her face into Spike's chest. "Angelus will kill you if he even suspects anything. If he realizes you can walk it will be bad. If he realizes that you turned me, he will dust you. You know how possessive he is." She looked up at him to share in his gaze. "If the cloaking spell didn't work completely you could be walking into trap. It would be just like Angelus to play a head game with us."

"I'll be very careful, pet." Spike threaded his fingers through her silky hair. "We won't be apart long, and we'll still feel each other."

Buffy nodded. "Two days, Spike." She spoke firmly. "You have two days to take care of whatever you need to do. Then I want you with me for the last day before we face Angelus." Though determination was etched into her face, her voice trembled a little at the end of her "order".

"Getting a little bossy, Childe?" Spike called Buffy Childe, but there was a teasing note in his voice. He was not disciplining her. "Do I need to remind you of your place?"

Buffy chuckled. Her body, mind and demon realized when Spike was serious in his reproach or not. "I know exactly where my place is, Sire." She wrapped her arms around Spike's back. With a hop up she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Right here is where I belong, Mate." She ground her hips down against Spike's clothed but rapidly growing erection.

Spike groaned lustily. He worked to pry Buffy from his arms. She was strong. So, it was no easy task. He practically had to start tickling her to get her to let go. "If you start that I'll never make it back to the mansion before dawn."

Buffy smirked. Spike's reactions gave her a sense of power that had nothing to do with being a Slayer or a vampire. It was a feminine pride that tickled her to her core for being able to make him react that way. The fact that he couldn't easily push away made her feel even more comfortable with her choice of Mate. Spike was her equal. Her Slayer side recognized his strength that rivaled hers, and her human side craved his protection. Both sides accepted Spike for what they needed.

Spike finally wrenched himself from Buffy's grasp much to the dismay of both of them. Lust burned between them in their eyes, from low rumbling growls and the growing tensions of their bodies.

About the time it looked like the two mates would pounce on each other again, Giles cleared his throat. "Buffy, I think it would be best if we leave soon."

Buffy sighed. 'Please come back to me as soon as you can.' She kissed Spike deeply with all of the longing that was caused at even the idea of them parting. It was more than the link from the claim or the bond of a Sire.

Spike deepened their kiss and pulled Buffy into a tight embrace. "Nothing can stop me from returning to you." He said after their kiss ended.

"My car is out back, Buffy." Giles extended his hand out for Buffy to accept.

Buffy kissed Spike again briefly before she clasped her cool hand into Giles'. To his credit Giles shivered at the cool touch, but he did not pull away from her.

Spike watched Giles' reactions. It was a giant leap of faith and trust on Spike's part to let his Mate and Childe leave with another man. His demon knew that Giles posed no threat sexually to his mating claim, but Giles could still take the opportunity to kill her. "I'll take the sewers back to the mansion. It will be the safest route."

"Why?" Buffy asked. Her hand stayed in Giles'. She felt safer with him holding her hand. Only Spike made her feel the safest right now, but there was a sense of peace in her Watcher's hands as well.

"Because Angelus would never stoop himself down low enough to travel in the grime of the sewers. He's too uppity about his precious appearance."

Giles half chuckled. "This coming from the bleached wonder of vampires and vanity?" He teased.

"Oh." Buffy answered Spike. She stifled a chuckle behind a hand that now covered her mouth.

"Sure, laugh it up pet. I'm not afraid to get down and dirty." Spike puffed out his chest and stood a little straighter. "Can't help it that I'm so bloody handsome, and I want to show it off."

The three of them shared in a brief respite from the tensions by laughing together. Giles was the first of the three to recover. "Goodbye, Spike." He offered his free hand to Spike's to shake.

"Goodbye, Watcher." Spike shook the offered hand firmly. "Take care of my girl." Gone was the levity of a few moments before. Spike's voice dripped with an unspoken threat of what would happen if harm came to Buffy in any way.

"As if she was my own daughter." Giles answered with no indication of backing down. His intentions where Buffy was concerned were clear. Giles did love Buffy like a daughter. He would protect her at all costs, even from the Council. In many aspects he had much in common with Louis, Antoinette's watcher. It was just taking him a little bit longer to find the right amount of acceptance to everything presented to him.

"I'll send Dalton to your place with blood for Buffy." Spike added. His research of the Slayer included all of her friends when he first arrived in Sunnydale. He knew where each of them lived and hung out.

Giles nodded. He wasn't in the mood to argue with Spike about knowing where he lived. "That will be very helpful. I'm not sure where Angel picked up his pig's blood."

"No pig's blood for my, Childe." Spike sneered. "Only human. She needs to be strong for her battle."

"But ... I can't ... can't condone the murder of innocents." Giles stuttered.

Spike exaggerated the rolling of his eyes. "I know that, Watcher." He sighed. "The poofter has been feeding me bagged human blood. It's probably from a blood bank. So at worst it was stolen."

"Oh." Giles stopped stammering. "Stolen isn't good, but at least no one was killed to procure it."

"I know that even as a bit of a demon, the Slayer isn't going to allow the death of innocents." Spike explained. "Try to heat it up in the microwave a little bit, pet." He turned his gaze to Buffy's. "It won't be as good as getting it from me, but it will taste all right when warm."

"Thank you, Spike." Buffy hugged Spike one more time. "I appreciate everything you are doing for me."

"You are my Childe and my Mate. I will do everything I can for you until I'm dust in the wind."

Giles tugged on Buffy's hand a little. They both turned towards the back of the house and disappeared into the kitchen area.

Spike watched Giles and Buffy leave. With a sigh he turned to leave out the front door after he heard the click of the back door being closed.


Giles opened the car door for Buffy. Buffy sat down in the seat and buckled in. Once Giles slipped into the car as well Buffy spoke. "He really isn't as bad as the books said he was."

Giles sighed. "I don't know what to believe any more, Buffy, but I do know that he is a dangerous force to be reckoned with. Even though that force seems to be directed at helping us now, it does not excuse the actions of the past."

"I know, but we gave Angel a chance because of his soul." Buffy rested a hand on Giles' arm. "Spike wasn't cursed with a soul, but he still saved me even knowing that I would keep my soul. It makes no sense for a completely evil creature to turn someone that they know won't be evil and would probably stake the one who turned them."

Giles started to interrupt, but Buffy rushed on with the rest of her argument. "You can't say it was just for his own evil purposes or to make me his slave. If that was the case, I would still be at his side or chained to a bed somewhere. He wouldn't be letting me go home with my Watcher to protect me and let me take care of my family and friends. Does that sound evil to you?"

"No, it doesn't Buffy." Giles started the car. "What will happen when Angelus is gone though? Spike isn't going to let you go. I know enough about claims to realize that."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, Giles. We have enough problems to deal with right now." Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "It seems to me that he's tried to do what he can to help you accept me. I don't foresee him trying to take me away from you guys without my consent."

"I hope you are right. This is going to be hard for your mother to accept." Giles put the car into drive and headed down the street towards his own house. "Your first, no second, "death" isn't going to be any easier. If he tears you away from her later, I don't know what it will do to her."

"I won't leave Spike, Giles. Nothing you say will make me do that." Buffy unconsciously wrung her hands in her lap. "I trust him. He doesn't want to hurt me."

"I'll pray that you are right, Buffy." Giles added before they both slipped into silence for the remainder of the trip to Giles' home.


Every step further away from Buffy was harder to take than the last. Spike could tell when Buffy and Giles actually pulled away in his car. As the distance increased between them faster, the ache he felt inside built in intensity. He felt her distress. Something was troubling her. He tried to send comforting sensations across the distance through their connection. Both of them were strong vampires, and their claim was strong. It allowed them a greater distance of connection.

Spike knew when they arrived at their destination. The pulling against their bond finally stopped at a certain level. The pulsing tightness around the area of his unbeating heart slowed down to a particular beat and tension.

'We're here, Spike.' Buffy thought to her Sire. 'Xander and Willow are in there.' She nibbled her lip nervously. 'I can hear their heartbeats and smell them. How weird is that?'

Spike chuckled. 'It's natural for us, pet.' He smiled in pride at her acceptance of her abilities even if it was still weird to her. 'Try to keep your physical contact with them to a minimal level. It will help you control your cravings. They need your reassurances of being all right, but if you stay close for too long it will affect you more.'

'Thank you, Sire.' Buffy answered in gratitude. 'I miss you already. It actually hurts, Spike.'

'I know. I feel it too, beloved.' Spike opened the manhole cover near the mansion. He hopped onto the street and replaced the cover. He reached the garden of the mansion quickly. 'We have to stop communicating this way luv.'

'Why?' Buffy saw Giles looking at her strangely. She hadn't moved from next to the car even after they arrived.

'It is strengthening the connection of our essences, luv.' Spike tried to explain. He hated the thought of not being able to talk to her through it. 'We are already radiating a type of essence because we are bonded. Using the telepathy will amplify that.'

'Angelus would be able to feel that?' Buffy was worried. Each revelation only caused her more concern for Spike's well being.

'Yes, he could. Also your friends will freak out if you just start staring off into space while you talk to me.' Spike teased to lighten the mood. 'Now go to your friends. I have much to do if I am to get back to you in two days.'

'Hop to it then.' Buffy teased back. 'What are you waiting for?'

'I'm waiting for my little chit of a Mate to let me go.' Spike smiled.

'I'll never let you go, Spike.' Buffy's voice in his head turned serious. 'Never.'

'Eternity my darling. We now have eternity to share together.' Spike answered.

'I'm going to hold you to that bleach boy.' Buffy stepped up next to Giles. "I think I'm ready."


Spike felt the connection lessen without Buffy actively putting her thoughts out to him. The bond lingered there; taunt from the distance, but warming that he could still feel her. He separated the foliage along the wall to open the door. He slipped into the passage that led back to his room. Indeed he did have much to take care of before he would be ready for their fight.


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