Not Beneath Me - (4) Comfort & Caring

By Tasha (ALL) & MissKitty (1-7)

Chapter Summary: After a long day Spike asked Buffy out to dinner. He didn't want to have to leave her side yet. Buffy has something that she needs to tell Spike. Maybe she can make sense of a few things along the way too.

Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed on the Index page of this story.

'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.


As the striking blonde couple walked into the Sunnydale IHOP, Buffy admitted to herself that she was already feeling more relaxed than she had been all day. Xander and Willow took Dawn home before Spike even arrived at the hospital. Consequently, he was able to slip back upstairs to Joyce's room to say good night. Buffy had shared in the tender moment when they both gave Joyce a hug and left with wishes of sweet dreams from their lips.

'Why is Mom so comfortable around Spike?' Buffy thought about the car ride to the restaurant. They had argued playfully about the best group to listen to. While Spike sided with the Sex Pistols and the Ramones, Buffy preferred a little Cranberries or U2. When Spike pulled out a Cher single of "I Believe" Buffy screamed. "No, anything but that." She shivered at the thought of her first evil roommate at college. "If I NEVER hear that song again it would be too soon."

"Just teasin' ya luv. I heard about your bloody awful roommate." Spike laughed. He enjoyed taunting her this way. It was all fun and games, and it felt better than when he was trying to hurt her as much as she'd hurt him.

Now sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant, Buffy gazed across at her companion. 'Did Mom see something before that I just didn't want to see in Spike?' She rested her chin in her hands, watching him. He had an easy manner about him while he flirted with the waitress, but strangely Buffy couldn't feel a bit of jealousy. As soon as Spike turned to look at her, she felt a tingling down to her toes that told her that she was the one that mattered to him.

'What is going on in that pretty little head of hers?' Spike wondered. He placed his order for a large orange juice. When Buffy didn't answer the waitress he waved his hand in front of Buffy's face. "Luv? What do you want to drink?"

Buffy snapped out of her almost trance like state. "Oh, sorry." She blushed. "I'll have a Diet Coke."

The waitress left two menus with the couple. She turned to walk back to the counter, but she couldn't keep the exaggerated swivel from her hips. 'Damn, but that girl is lucky. He's a hottie.'

Buffy picked up her menu. She was startled when Spike also reached for one. She gave him a weird look, like he was crazy or something,

"What?" Spike asked. He cocked a scarred brow in curiosity.

"Are you actually going to eat something? 'Cause I don't really think they sell blood here." Buffy leaned over the table to whisper her question to him. She didn't want anyone to overhear their conversation.

"Course I'm going to eat something." Spike huffed. "I like human food too. Jus' cos' Peaches only drinks blood doesn't mean I do too." He rolled his eyes. Didn't this girl's watcher teach her anything, or was the Council that bloody stupid. "We aren't all like him you know."

"Okay, whatever." Buffy really didn't want to get into an argument about Angel right now. In fact, she didn't even want to think about Angel right now. She wanted to focus on the vampire in front of her. "I don't really have any money with me, Spike. So, how are we going to pay for this? I'm so not up to doing a dine-n-dash tonight."

Spike laughed. "Anybody ever tell you that you worry way too much?" He noted the serious look that still crossed her face. "I invited you out to dinner. I bloody well wouldn't have expected you to pay for it." He was starting to get a little mad on the inside. 'What kind of man does she think we are? Preposterous.' His inner William cried out. 'One never invites a lady to dinner with the intent of her to pay for the outing.' On the rare occasion, like this one, his inner demon couldn't agree more. 'I take care of my woman, always!'

Buffy watched Spike's face contort a few different ways as if he was in an argument within himself. She could see the fire behind his eyes. "I probably don't even want to ask where you got the money from, do I?" She needed to derail his internal struggle. He only appeared to get madder with each passing moment.

"I won it in a poker game. Fair an' square." At Buffy's raised eyebrow he added, "Well sorta fair and square, but I can guarantee I wasn't the only demon cheatin'!" At this Buffy laughed. He loved hearing her laugh because it meant she was happy. Buffy didn't seem to get enough happy in her life.

"I wasn't trying to say that you wouldn't take care of me. I just know that you aren't usually all money having." Buffy caressed her hand over the top of Spike's on the table. "Usually you are working for us to pick up cash. I knew we hadn't paid you lately."

"There is a lot about me that you don't know, Buffy." Spike started to relax. There were many things the Scoobies didn't know about him. He wasn't about to share his actual non-poor status with them. If they knew what would be the fun in antagonizing them for money. He lowered his gaze to their joined hands. "It is up to you if you want to find out what all of me is like."

Heat crept up into Buffy's cheeks at Spike's words. What was worse: that he thought she would like to get to find out "all" of him or that the thought of it made her tingle from head to toe. She pulled her hand back from Spike's in a rush.

Spike's eyes widened when he realized where Buffy's thoughts were going. He could smell her arousal, and it made his manhood twitch and harden in his already tight jeans. "I meant all there is to know about me, not ... you know."

"Right." Buffy stuttered. "Right, I knew that. Of course." She was saved from further embarrassment with the arrival of the waitress to take their order.

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After dinner arrived things had been quiet between the Vampire and Vampire Slayer. Both ate in a bit of reflective silence. They'd each snatch looks up at the other one when they thought the other one wasn't looking. Slowly the restaurant started to empty. Buffy was glad because she needed to tell Spike about Dawn. The less people around the better. When they seemed to be the only ones there, aside from those working, she laid her empty plate to the side. "Spike, I wanted to come here for a couple reasons. I wanted to relax, but I also needed to talk to you."

Spike gulped at the serious tone in Buffy's voice. 'Here it comes. She's going to tell you to get lost, mate.' He wiped his mouth, moved his plate to the side, and set the no longer needed napkin on top of the plate. "Talk about what, pet?"

'He almost looks nervous.' Buffy pondered that thought a few moments before speaking again. "There is something about Dawn that only Giles and I know. I haven't told anyone else because I was afraid that the more people who know, the harder it will be to keep it a secret." She reached across the table for his hand. "I want to tell you now though. I trust you."

Spike was shocked. She trusted him? You might as well have hit him over the head with a hammer, he would have had the same shell-shocked look on his face. "I'd never betray you, Buffy."

"I know. Sounds strange, but somehow I just know you wouldn't now." Buffy smiled warmly. "I know who the key is that the demon lady is looking for."

"Who? Don't you mean what?" Spike tilted his head to the side, confused.

"No, I mean who." Buffy inhaled deeply. 'This is hard. How do I tell someone that the person they believe has been around for years is just a bunch of fabricated memories?' She knew that this was going to be hard for Spike because of how much he seemed to care for her sister. "Dawn isn't really my sister. Some crazy monks created her from my essence."

"Come off it, Slayer. You're kidding right?" Spike scoffed in disbelief. He knew the Nibblet and Buffy got into quite a few scrapes, but that was just what siblings did. She couldn't be trying to disown her own flesh and blood.

"I'm serious, Spike." Buffy breathed in and out several times deeply. "The memories we have of her growing up were placed there by some over zealous Monks. She doesn't even know that she was formerly just a ball of energy that Glory can use as a key to something."

Spike blinked several times. This had to be impossible. How could someone put memories into another person's head? He remembered so much about the Nibblet. He felt so much for the Nibblet too. That couldn't be fake, could it? "I don't believe it. That's ridiculous." He jumped up, threw enough bills on the table to cover the meal and the tip, and he headed outside. He had to think about this.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled. She scampered to follow him as quickly as she could. She had expected many different reactions, but she wasn't prepared for this one. Spike seemed furious and hurt.

Spike turned around quickly when Buffy caught up to him. "What, Slayer? You expect me to believe that Dawn isn't flesh and blood? I can hear her heartbeat, smell the blood that flows through her veins, and feel her body heat when she's near."

"That's not what I said, Spike." Buffy sighed exasperated. "She is human now, but she also contains all the elements of an energy that acts as some kind of key." She placed her hands on each of Spike's forearms. "Don't you think I know how crazy it sounds? I know it's true though."

Spike shook his head back and forth. Buffy interrupted him before he spoke. "That snake tonight that we killed?"

"Yeah."

"It was trying to locate the key for Glory." Buffy frowned. She absentmindedly rolled her shoulders that were still sore from her earlier beating. "It went straight to Dawn. Remember her screaming? It was there for the key ... to find out where it was."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense when you are willing to admit to the facts of things." Buffy was exasperated. If Spike was this hard to convince, how was she going to convince the rest of the Scoobies or her mother. "I found out from one of the monks that I tried to save from Glory. They made her from a part of me so that I would feel compelled to protect her with my life."

Spike slumped against the side of the Desoto. "Wow." He sighed, reached into his duster, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. "Definitely time for a fag." He inhaled a couple mouthfuls contemplating all that Buffy had told him. "So she's real, but she's also not really just human?"

"That's about it. I have to protect her from Glory." Buffy leaned against the car next to Spike. "God only knows what Glory wants to "open" with my sister, and yes she still feels like my sister. I won't treat her any different either. I still love her, as annoying as she is."

"She's say the same about you, pet. The annoying part that is." Spike chuckled. He took a few more hits of the cigarette. "You know I'm going to try to protect her, don't you?"

Buffy turned to face him and nodded slowly. "Yes, I was hoping that you would."

"Bleeding Summer's women." Spike tossed the cigarette butt to the ground and ground his boot heel into it to put it out. "You lot are going to be the death of me yet." He half chuckled. He slid off the car and opened the door for Buffy to get in.

Buffy rested her hand on his on the doorframe before she sat down. "Thank you, Spike."

"Anything for you, Buffy." Spike's cold body warmed on the inside a moment at saying that to her. "You are going to have to tell her, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Buffy sighed. "I just don't know how."

Spike closed Buffy's door. He sauntered to his side of the car, opened the door and slid in. "We'll figure it out." He turned his key in the ignition. "It wouldn't do for her to find out from someone else or some other way."

Buffy nodded and stared out the window.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The pair rode home in silence. Neither even turned the radio on. They were both so lost in their own thoughts that they didn't realize how close they were to Revello Drive until Spike pulled up in front of the house.

"Spike, I know that we've had a lot to take in today already, but I've been thinking all day about what you said to me last night."

Spike hoped that she was thinking about it in a good way. He was getting tired of pretending that they hadn't kissed last night or held each other today. He so wanted to hold her again. "Yes? What about it?"

"I uh ... I think I ..." Buffy broke off her stutter with a mumble instead.

"What was that, luv?" Spike asked. Even with his vampiric hearing the words had been too garbled for him to pick up clearly. He turned off the engine.

Buffy turned to look at Spike. "I think ... Well, I think that I care about you too." She said a bit louder this time. She cleared her throat. "I don't know what happened, or why I feel like this, but ..." She looked up into Spike's eyes. "If you were just messing with me last night, then please tell me know because I don't want to be made a fool of again." She lowered her gaze.

Spike grabbed both of Buffy's hands quickly with his. "Buffy, I wasn't messing with you." He paused to take in an unnecessary breath. He lifted her chin with the tips of two of his fingers to look at him. "I would never be that cruel. Do you really care about me?"

"Goodness, I don't totally know." Buffy sighed. "I think I do. I'm so confused because I thought we hated each other." She shook her head back and forth in confusion. "Then you kissed me and the way it felt ... I haven't felt like that in a very long time." She gulped. "Then I had this dream, well a few dreams, but we aren't discussing all of them now. In the one dream you got staked, and when I woke up I felt scared that you might be gone."

A few dreams? Interesting. Spike definitely wanted to hear about those, but he was learning that timing was everything with Buffy. So, he didn't push. "Pet, last night ... What exactly did you feel?"

The tension of the moment finally hit her. She was having a discussion about her feelings of caring about someone who was not her boyfriend with someone who was not her boyfriend. "Oh my gosh! I can't do this right now!" She started to panic and tried to pull away from him.

Spike felt like a knife had been stabbed straight through to his heart. 'Patience, Spike. She has a lot going on right now.' He growled low in his throat. He pulled Buffy closer to him whispering soothing words in her ear. "It's okay, pet. Shhhh, there's no rush."

Buffy started to calm down, rocking in Spike's arms. After several minutes of silence, save for Spike's purr-like words, she was ready to face him again. "Thank you for dinner. I think that taking a break helped." She told him.

"No problem, luv." Spike smiled down at the petite woman in his arms. He drank in her scent and memorized the warmth of her against his body.

"It wasn't a date though." Buffy whispered more to convince herself than him. It didn't work though. She knew something had changed between them last night, and something changed even more between them tonight.

"Right, not a ..." Spike was cut off because at that moment their lips met, and all he could think about was her soft lips on his. He wrapped his arms even tighter around Buffy's waist as she put her arms around his neck. They each held the other as close as possible.

When Buffy felt Spike's tongue on her lips she parted them, and his tongue slipped into her mouth. She knew that she should break away from Spike, but her body called to his. She felt so right in his arms no matter how wrong someone else might think this was. After a while she knew that she had to leave soon or she'd never be able to leave his side tonight. Her control was slipping more with each passing moment. Just by kissing her, Spike had made her feel more cherished, safe and loved than anyone ever had. Finally Spike pulled away to let her breathe.

Buffy stared up at Spike. His lips were so beautiful. She licked her own lips in desire for him. "I have ... I have ... to go." She said trying to catch her breath.

Spike panted with unneeded breath but nodded. There was no way that he wanted Buffy to regret anything she did with him. He wanted everything to mean as much to her as it did to him.

In a daze, Buffy slowly got out of the car and walked towards her house. She stopped on the porch, turned and waved to him once more. As she opened the door and climbed the stairs to her room, she pressed her fingers to her lips reliving each moment of their kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike drove off back towards the cemetery that his crypt was in. He really didn't want to see Harmony again after kissing Buffy, but he had nowhere else to go right now. He would totally kick her out, but the memories of losing everything when he was chipped haunted him. No, he couldn't do that to anyone, not even Harmony. She needed protection from the sun the same as him. He swore that tonight would be the last night that Harmony would spend at his crypt though. He'd find something for her somewhere else. Even if Buffy couldn't leave the soldier boy, he couldn't have Harmony around. He didn't love Harmony. He loved Buffy.

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As they each went their separate ways, neither one of them noticed that someone had watched them, seeing all he needed to see to conclude that Buffy did not really love him. It looked like he wasn't going to be back in Buffy's bed anytime soon. He knew where he could get his pleasures from though. He didn't need Buffy for it. She didn't have the right teeth anyways. Riley Finn silently walked away determined that he'd get the truth out of Buffy tomorrow one way or another.

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